The Lost Mines of UH

Excellent Zombies!
...They're not really excellent

After we saved Gundren from Cragmaw Castle, we took him to Reidoth’s house to get him to help find a waterfall for Feylyn and hopefully get his help finding Wave Echo Cave. On the way there, we encountered an orge that was thrashing down trees in anger. I can’t have that so I go to stop him. I ask him why he’s thrashing down trees. He tells me that he’s mad because a lady he likes refused his marriage proposal because he didn’t bring a big enough deer carcass for her. We agree to help him in order for him to stop tearing down trees. We find this 10 foot tall deer that the orge, whose name is Orloc, says is big enough. As we prepare for battle, I start having reservations about killing this large, majestic creature. I start trying to talk to it as the forest to learn more about it. His home had been destroyed long ago due to a war and he had been wondering for a new home. He found one in this forest long ago. As I continued, he sniffed me out of hiding. I asked him another question but he didn’t want to talk anymore, just battle. Vino blasted its antlers off and then killed it and gave it to Orloc. Orloc went on his way and we continued to Reidoth’s house.

When we arrived, we explained what had happened and what we needed. He leads us to a large, beautiful, and peaceful waterfall and says that he would need to take the day to divine the location of the cave with Gundren to see if he remembers anything. While Feylyn and I meditate and sleep, respectively, Vino goes back to Reidoth’s house to check in. He tells us later that Reidoth had been murdered by the Nothic and I almost took off running to Reidoth’s house. I couldn’t leave Feylyn alone with Nothic possibly running around. I try to finish sleeping and I do, albeit tumultuously. I kept having dreams about the events of the pasts involving the Nothic and the choices I made and being riddled with guilt. After I wake up, I still have to wait for Feylyn to finish her meditation in order to complete her cleansing. When she finishes, a fey creature appears and grants her the blessing of Eldath. I tell her to get on my back and I race towards Reidoth’s house as a panther. When we arrive, I listen to the others about what happened and I sniff out the scene in order to find the Nothic’s scent. I find one smell that’s sort of the Nothic’s smell, kind of like a faux Nothic smell, and another that didn’t recognize. Then the trail runs cold at the edge of the forest. This just makes things more confusing, but one thing is for sure; The Nothic MUST BE STOPPED!

The rest of party tells us that they found the map to Wave Echo Cave in Reidoth’s hand partially completed and Berrian, using his memory of previous maps we’ve seen, fills the map to include familiar towns and landmarks. Looking at it, we remember the Old Owl Well we were asked to investigate about some undead roaming around there. Gundren wants to help the people so he wants to go there. We go there and stealthily investigate. There are a bunch of zombies in the watch tower there and a man in a tent near it. We attract the zombies and yell for the man to draw him out to see what he will do. It turns out, as I suspected, he was a necromancer who created the zombies. What I didn’t expect, however, was that he was selling these zombies to people as a workforce to help with jobs and housework. His name was Shiradeen and he had a mark on his forhead that showed that he was from Thain’s school of necromancy. He sold “excellent” zombies and made absolutely sure that we knew that they were excellent. Vanessa wanted him to make a dead sprite that she found in Reidoth’s house a zombie and Berrian wanted to learn his necromancy spells. I couldn’t let this happen. Necromancy is a practice that brings about unnatural abominations unto the Earth, which I and most other people hate. Berrian argued that he wouldn’t use the magic unless absolutely necessary. I trusted Berrian so I let the transaction go through. Feylyn and Vino, other the other hand, didn’t like this guy’s at all and decided to attack him. Then Vanessa attacked Vino and ran like a little girl! I’m so disappointed in her for not only being a traitor but also a coward. Barrian then told Shiradeen to run and silenced the area. I went to stop him from getting away but I didn’t want to kill him for just conducting a business. I did want him to stop his business, however. We had a heated debate about the morality of his business and in the end, we couldn’t see eye to eye. He wasn’t going to stop and I wasn’t going to let him continue his business. I decided to kill him at the same time he decided that maybe I wasn’t a good person for not seeing his view and doing business with him. He then teleported away. I know only fairly powerful spellcasters could cast a spell like that or control 12 zombies at the same time so I recognize that I may have made a powerful enemy. However, I did my best to reason with him and I stand my actions and my decision. Now to deal with these zombies……

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Thundertree and Cragmaw Castle
Spiders and Dragons and Goblins, Oh My!

We arrive at Thundertree to find the druid named Reidoth that lives here to get the location of Cragmaw Castle and see that the town is dusty and almost entirely deserted. We search every house and find these weird plant creatures that aren’t hostile…at first. They attack us and we defeat them. In one of the battles, Feylyn called on Toroq to help, which we didn’t really need, and he sent a servant to help and a contract apparently that required her to eat the heart of the next person we meet who is not an enemy. That was terrible timing, seeing as we had to meet Reidoth. We eventually found where he lived and I went in and talked to him alone in order to keep him from Feylyn. I ask about Cragmaw Castle and he says he can tell me but would like me and my party to take care of some suspicious individuals doing mysterious dealings on the other side of the time and get a dragon to move out the tower in the town. He also says that he can help me with something druidic if I help him. We agree and go to the other side of town. We try to get them to open the door but they won’t so Gruit breaks it down. We get one or two of them but the others get away. All of them wore black cloaks that had the symbol of Tiamat on them. We figured that were some kind of cult. With all of them gone or taken of, we head to the tower.

After we arrive, we see the dragon, a big green one, sleeping. Vanessa tries to sneak past it to investigate the upstairs and almost makes it but steps on something and makes a noise that wakes the dragon. It raises up and reveals that not only was it not green, being covered in moss and actually being black, it was also not a traditional dragon. It had eight legs and had spiders coming out of its mouth. It was a spider dragon. I didn’t even know that was a thing. We tried talking to it and convincing it to move somewhere else but it didn’t even want to talk at first. It just told us to entertain it first and had it spider children capture Gruit. Feylyn ate one of its children whole and tried to rap battle it. It complete smoked her in the rap battle then wanted to have a physical battle. We fought and in the commotion I found the dragon’s hoard. I dove in the hole that was only big enough for regular person so it couldn’t follow me. I then pissed it off by bragging about all the gold and stuff and how I was going to spend it. Then something happened with Feylyn, Berrian, and Gruit that I didn’t see, but apparently Gruit sacrificed his body and soul to Toroq in order to save Feylyn from her contract with him after she made him mad. Gruit didn’t deserve that. He’s probably being tortured in the Nine Hells somewhere because of Feylyn. The spider dragon is apparently freaked out by this and burrows out. We raid the hoard room and return to Reidoth’s house.

We inform Reidoth of our completion of the tasks and loss of our comrade. He thanks us for our help and gives his condolences for Gruit. He tells us the location of Cragmaw Castle and makes me a member of the group, The Emerald Enclave. I’m so honored! We thank Reidoth so much for his help and head towards Cragmaw Castle. Feylyn, having been the cause of Gruit’s sacrifice, tries to reform her ways and get back into Selune’s good graces but she just got a busy signal. So Feylyn turned to the nature goddess Eldath to serve. A servant of Eldath came and informed her that Eldath would accept her if she didn’t have a violent or aggressive thought or action for 3 days and then bathed under a waterfall for 24 hours. Feylyn accepted this and began her spiritual journey. Soon after came her first challenge to her journey in the form of a drow warlock being attacked by ogre. We fought and defeat the ogre, except Feylyn, and find out that this drow’s name is Vino and that he is a friend of Gruit. I couldn’t believe that Gruit could have a drow for a friend, seeing as he was just as racist and rude and condescending as my father said they were. I didn’t trust him at all. He also had business in Cragmaw Castle and was pretty powerful so we reluctantly allowed him to come with us. We came to Neverwinter on the way and I met up with Bartholomew and informed him of our journey so far. After, I hear around town that a drow was starting some trouble in a tavern and of course it was Vino. What do you expect from a drow? Vanessa buys a beautiful falcon and Feylyn buys a….not beautiful broken homunculus whom she named Alfonse. She had Berrian fix it while Vino tried to help. I stayed up and watched Vino until he tranced because I didn’t trust him. We woke up the next day and headed out to Cragmaw Castle.

On the way, we ran into a group of goblins who seemed organized and militaristic. We fought them and killed all but 1 to lead us to Cragmaw Castle. It tried to lead us away and we used that to do the opposite of what it was saying to make it to the castle. We scouted the castle using Vino’s invisible imp named Montrachet. After it looked through half of the castle, it informed Vino who informed us of what it saw. What it saw of note was a dwarf that had been tortured and a figure in all black. It had to be Gundren and the Black Spider!! We sneak into the castle and corner the Black Spider and he sets fire to the room he and Gundren are in. He escapes through the Hobgoblin restroom…somehow. We get Gundren out of the burning room and fight the rest of goblins in the vicinity. We fight more monsters and goblins (sort of along side a wild owlbear that the goblins had captured) in the rest of the castle. We investigate a temple that was in the castle that was apparently desecrated by the goblins and Berrian and Vino find a statue of Augury that was only one question per person. It warns about a danger that was close though we did not see it. They finish cleansing the temple and when we exit, we see the Nothic there. I want to attack it immediately but Berrian says wait since we don’t know what’s going on or why’s it here. I feel it trying to probe my mind, but I don’t know if it got any information. It just laughs and runs off. I swear that the next time I see that thing, I’m at least capturing it! It can’t be allowed to run around anymore!

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Another Entry from Faylen, the widowed and motherless drunk

Adventure log 6
Kinky red head tied up takes her clothes off~ <3><3 I looked down and the ground isn’t that far from me… What the fuck was I worrying about?! Vanessa took her clothes off and threw it on the goblin! She remains dangling naked and tied up. What a crazy girl but I like it! I finally managed to get myself down and fell on my head. Maybe I’ll be normal now! (not really though. #crazylife4life) The creature makes a turban out of vanessa’s clothes. One of the Goblin’s goblin dogs started eating the goblin! What a plot twist! I tried to make one of the goblin’s goblin dog into my dog but once I tried to make a move on him, he got mad. What a loser. Another Goblin exploded into nothing. Please let it be my baby. Vanessa, while still naked, tries to grapple one of the goblin’s dog. She keeps yelling that she isn’t naked but we all know that she is… She successfully grappled the animal. I’m just trying to get a baby but nobody LOVES ME. This is why I drink. Everyone still died though. I don’t even know how.
Barrien found out where the tracks were going. Meanwhile Vanessa was a little bitch and got mad because I called the nothic to help us. So FUCKING UNGRATEFUL and attacked me! I asked outloud if the nothic was Aranor (sp?) but all I heard was the voice of that stupid Vanessa saying “don’t they forget who they are?” Vanessa flicked me off while flicking the bean because she is still naked. We’re going to set up camp and find some big leaves for Vanessa to wear because she is naked. We rested for a while and continued on our journey.
We spotted the tracks and they were easy to follow. We came across what looks like an old town. Everything is just all part of the woods. Barrien starts setting up for a magical ritual and concludes that there is nothing wrong here. We noticed that it keeps getting warmer…. We set Barrien up with all of our clothes and I give him my staff. The staff I let him borrow has a glass now and I use light on the top of it and now everything is able to be seen. “IS there anyone out there!? Come out!” Barrien shouts and scares a cute family of spiders… We continue to walk forward despite no one coming out. We see several large pots and are well preserved despite the environment. I decided to break one of the pots and it look like it had some sort of devil’s lettuce. Barrien grows a pair and checks the other pots. There are snakes there waiting for him. Boa constrictors come out with him. They attacked Barrien and I… I think we are honestly fucked. I started screaming whispers at them about how ugly they are and how they would never find love. HOW DARE THEY HURT MY BEST FRIEND BARRIEN!? All that dude does is read! Anyway, he died because of my nagging…. Alex thorn whipped the last snake and it almost died but the thorns caressed his face ever so gently. We all try to attack him but when I tried to touch him with my really cold hand, the slippery dude snaked his way out of my grasp. Vanessa, with her naked body, caused the snake to become even more erect and EVOLVE. It’s the size of a dragon’s penis. Barrien has been sucking so much dick, the snake turned into a really ugly looking… phallic shape…. We all manage to leave the corridor. I make this epic attack against the phallic shape and leave it bloodied. How wonderful~ I am so cool~ and useful~ I’m the only reason we are still here~ Vanessa attacks it as well and runs away… What a baby. I would have never ran away. Barrien attacked with scorching ray and the snake is starting to fall apart. Before Barrien’s scorching flames burn the meat, I gracefully made us a tasty and not burnt meal. Nevermind. I quickly found out that there was nothing… Everyone but me, realized that there was something wrong with the magic in this area… Barrien filled me in though. “Bad Magic!” he said as a savage.
We rest again and take a cute nap. Since we started this short journey, it’s only been 2 hours. Why does it feel like it’s been MUCH LONGER? I wonder how that orc is… I forgot what his name was… He was my baby though? Who knows anymore… Too many kids…. I also forgot about Gruitt… I didn’t remember why we were in here… I REMEMBER NOW. Alex starts stripping for naked vanessa…. How is she still not wearing clothes? Anyway, Barrien made Alex glow with his magical touch. He buffed Alex up.
Alex tells us of a warped feeling in the direction of one of the rooms. I usually am very calm about things but I feel completely uneasy about this. Vanessa grabs one of the amulets and takes another one. Everyone gets on but me because Vanessa is super selfish. Barrien figures out that these are shield guardians. The purpose of them is to be a protector of very high ranking people. Vanessa gave me an amulet under the condition that I no longer kidnap anymore children. I put Chill Touch onto my Shield Guardian. These shield guardians are also able to regenerate health onto themselves and are loyal to us. I married my shield guardian and his name is Richard. If they stand next to us, the stone guardian gives us +2 AC. Any damage given to us is halved and half is given to the guardian.
We can tell from this distance, there is wind blowing. Vanessa tells all of us that it opens up into a swamp that looks like a marsh… It looks like a great castle and we don’t see anything that looks alive. The marsh doesn’t seem to be very deep. Finally a man who listens to me and does whatever I tell him to! I get Richard to carry me up and have him transport me across the marsh and he takes me to this lovely island for our honeymoon. Richard moves slowly along and it seems like the swamp gets a bit more deep but I worried for nothing. The bushes moved and suddenly we got a mimic chest but bush version, not the version I ordered. The Island below us shakes and we’re on top of some tentacle ugly animal monster. It’s mostly made of vegetation and goblin… The tentacle huge monster quivered after Richard’s power. Magic is highly unstable right now… Barrien somehow made his Golem super bright and now we’re all blinded from this asshole… Richard would never do this to us or me! My staff somehow turned into a discoball… I faintly hear someone saying “ah ah ah ah, staying alive.” Vanessa’s sword turned into an amazing weapon. It looks like a saber of…. Light? So many shenanigans. Vanessa throws her spear but it does nothing. Her Golem also misses… What an interesting time. Barrien stole Alex’s signature name: Barrien is now the walking tree! His golem got engulfed though! I tried to use magic just for the shits and giggles. I ended up just going into this weird dimension… Is this where ghost and demons go? I can appear anywhere …. This magical realm is so strange!!! AM I EVEN SURE ANY OF THIS IS REAL?! Maybe I drank too much…. The big Richard is still out there trying to attack us… Regular Richard became invincible to all damage and I got a new amulet! Big Richard is mine now! Slowly… I will build my harem… OUT OF NOWHERE THOUGH, VANESSA’S GOLEM STARTED SHIFTING AND GOT ROCKET ARMS?! HOW DO I EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT WORD IS!?!?!?!?!?!
Barrien touched the mound of dicks and it burst into flames! What is this? WhAT IS GOING ON!? My Big Richard starts beeping! I don’t want him to die! I didn’t realize that I was still inside the mound of dicks… Barrien transformed into three trees! Vanessa lost her Richard and Big Richard lost his arms!!!! I got one size bigger, and big dick is throbbing. I broke through the big pile of penises and saved everyone! I am so big and strong that I am carrying everyone that got kidnapped earlier! Barrien tries to divide himself into more trees. But he turned into 16 zombies and all shot 16 fireballs!!!! AT THE SAME TIME!!!! WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME!!!! TO US!!!! 16 ZOMBIES AIM THEIR HANDS UP AND THERE ARE METEORS FALLING DOWN!!! Vanessa is yelling out bubbles that do damage!!!! WHY ARE WE EVEN HERE?! IS THIS HELL!? DID WE DIE AND NOT REALIZE THIS?! This experience has been so crazy that it made me a good person again. Vanessa also has a third eye!
Several hundred pink bubbles that were spewed from vanessa’s mouth attacked the mound. Several fireballs slam into the mound and then at the same time, six meteors fall from the sky and big Richard explodes with the passion of a thousand angry suns. We DEAL 197 DAMAGE!!!! OVER KILL!!!! BLOODIED!!! WE WON!!!!!! We didn’t die from this BECAUSE WE ASTROPLANED TOGETHER!! WE GOT SO LUCKY!!! THIS WAS ALL A TEST FROM SELUNE. SHE WANTED TO TEST ME!!! AND I PASSED!!!!! This was A TWO PERCENT CHANCE OF US LIVING AND WE LIVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NEVER TELL ME THE ODDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Into the Woods/Strange Magic
"....and crazy crap happened!"

After Gruit captured and named the last harpy, we continued on the trail towards Wyvern Tor. The trail, which was a separate path away from the forest, eventually looped around into the forest anyway. I’m not complaining. I love a good forest! While going through this dense forest where there was no visibility for those who could not see in the dark, I sensed the presence of traps on the trail. Having lived in the forests and wilds for all my life, I’m very keen with this sort of thing. Berrian seems to have sensed them as well, as he stepped out of the way. The rest of the party, however, was not as perceptive. They all fell into the traps before we could warn them. At that moment, we were beset by goblins, some riding these strange creatures that looked like wolves but bigger and more bestial but not as big as dire wolves. They kidnapped Gruit, the harpy, The Boulder, and Feylyn’s captive/“baby”. We killed the ones we could, or should I say Vanessa killed the ones we could not, even though she was hanging upside down and swinging in a trap. I admire her skill just as much as I admire her honor for human life. Some of them just eroded. It was a sign that the Nothic was near and I heard Feylyn talking to it. If I had known where it was hiding in the forest and Gruit had not been taken, I would have slew that thing right then and there. However, our party member was missing and after a few pleas from Feylyn for the Nothic to come out, it seemed to have left. That’s what Feylyn’s face was saying, anyway.
So we tracked down the tracks of the goblins and the wolf-like creatures and followed them. It led to this old ruin type place with large amounts of overgrowth everywhere. There was something about this place that seemed off. The natural and elemental weave of magic in this area seemed twisted and warped. We explored cautiously and found a room with three pots. Feylyn threw something at one of the pots and it shattered leaving behind spores that looked like mold. We figured it was safe so Berrian opened another one of the pots. We were wrong, because out of a snake from both of the pots. They seemed to be made of spores. We killed one and the other one grew in size. Then it grew in size again until it was a very large snake creature I could not identify. I thought it was an illusion at first, but upon checking I found it to be very real and very dangerous. We make a strategic withdrawal back into the hallway and realize that it can’t follow us. We attack and kill it in the opening between the room and the hallway, then we carefully move on to the next room. Berrian senses eight magic signatures from the room and peek around corner into it. There we see a table with four amulets lying upon them. Vanessa rushes up to the table to get the amulet, at the protest of the rest of us, and as soon as she touches one, a large golem of iron and wood walks up to her. I knew it was a trap and now we have to go save her! The only thing is that the golem just stands there next to her and doesn’t attack her. Upon closer inspection, we realize that these are shield guardians. This will be an incredible boon to our defenses! Vanessa got lucky. It still could’ve been a trap. With the shield guardians at our side, we carefully make to next room where the warped weave of magic pulsates and churns, making me ever the more uneasy.
The room opens up into a wide area of swampland with a sudden drop on the eastern side of the room. It is filled with overgrowth and vegetation and small island in the center. We try to send our guardians in first to see how deep the water was, but are very hesitant because we don’t want to lose them. As we are treading lightly near the entrance, we all feel this urge, this pulling as we hear in the faintest but harshest of voices on the edge of our hearing say, “Get in the damn room!” So we enter the room on the backs of our shield guardians and go to the island in the center. Our entrance closes as the bushes seem to come to life and block our path. The island in the center started to rise as this abominable mass of goblin parts attacks us. This may be the cause or the outcome of the dreadfully warped magic in this place but we knew that it must be slain if we were to leave. We also sensed that our kidnapped party members were inside it. We started to fight as normal but our magic was doing random things. Berrian tried to cast a spell to attack the creature and turned into an awakened tree. The magic in the area was so warped and wild that Vanessa was able to use magic. One of the goblins inside this monstrosity had its own shield guardian amulet and so a big shield guardian arose from the ground and fought with me. I for the most part ignored it and focused on taking out the monster or at least distracting it so that my party members could remove the amulet from the goblin inside. More wild magic and everyone was teleporting and our shield guardians fought bravely but were eaten. Berrian multiplied into three trees and then turned into 16 zombies all casting fireball at the same time. I tried to throw a small fire at the monster and it turned into several meteors headed for us. Feylyn was able to get the amulet and attack the monster with the guardian briefly, but it started beeping and that usually meant explosions. We were stuck in between meteors, fireballs and a big explosion with no way out when all of a sudden, we were teleported to the Astral Plane. We say all the fire and explosions as it happened and then we were teleported to the front of the ruins where we came in. All of us, beaten and tired, sighed a sigh of relief that we were alive and we had our party back. I notice that I’m still wearing my shield guardian amulet even though my guardian was eaten and the others’ amulets broke when their guardians were eaten. It beeps every once in a while when I talk to it, as if beckoning to the guardian to find its rightful place at my side once more. I suppose I’ll have to wait and see if it can answer that call.

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On the Triboar Trail to Wyvern Tor
I was an eagle!!! :)

After we annihilated the evil orcs that were roasting that poor miner and captured one of them, we got it to lead us to their hideout in Wyvern Tor. Apparently there are “lots” of Orcs there, according to the orc, so we should definitely be on guard as we go and be cautious when we get there. On the way, we came to a fork in the road. One path led to a very thick forest where the sunlight could barely break through the treetops and the other led to some hills that ran along the bottom of the Sword Mountains. Now I’m not one to readily refuse to go into a forest, but the thickness of it may prove troublesome depending on what creatures hide there. I asked the orc that we captured which path should we take and it didn’t really care since both led to Wyvern Tor. Then we asked what kind of monsters were on each path and he said that the forest had “foresty” creatures and the hills had “hilly” creatures. Orcs are apparently not that smart. We chose to take the latter path.

As we are traveling along the hill path, we notice above that there is an eagle flying overhead followed by other figures that we can’t quite make out. The eagle is very large looking even from this distance. Someone notices that the figures following the eagle are harpies and they are not known to be good creatures. We figure that the eagle is in danger and we call to it. It seems to notice us immediately, swoops down and lands a few feet from us. It is such a majestic creature. It tells us that the harpies have been chasing him and he asks for our assistance. Gruit and I are all for it. He says he can carry us up to the sky to fight the harpies. The Boulder reluctantly agrees to help and Vanessa doesn’t go because she’s afraid of heights. Feylyn and Barrien watch the Orc so he doesn’t escape. The eagle asks me if I can command the forces of nature and animals and I say yes reluctantly because I don’t know how he feels about it. I’m working on my more cowardly traits and having more courage. He offers me one of his feathers so that we can pray to his god, Remnis, in order for him to grant me some of the power of an eagle. It works! Feathers sprout from my arms as they transform into wings! My mouth and nose transform into a beak! My eyes seem to be able to focus more sharply on things! Feathers spring from my legs as my feet turn into claws with sharp talons on each. I notice that I am not as big as the eagle. I suppose it is from my inexperience as a druid but this definitely gives me something to look forward to. The eagle, with Gruit on his back and The Boulder in his talon, and I take to the sky! (OMG this is AWESOME!!!!!)

When we arrive at the harpies, I see that there are four of them, one of them inside of a cloud were she is partially shrouded. Gruit attacks first and hits one of the harpies. The eagle tries to attack but is weighed down by Gruit and The Boulder, mostly Gruit, and misses. One of the harpies tries to sing it’s siren song but we are all too smart for that. I ask them why they are attacking the eagle and one responds with, “Food!” The fact that these notoriously evil and disgusting creatures want to eat and defile this majestic and intelligent creature is sickening to me. They must die now. They attack us and I attack one of them with my beak and claws. The harpy that tried to use its song on us is suddenly hit by a javelin. It’s Vanessa attacking from the ground! She has an amazing throwing arm. The fight continues and Gruit, being his usual drunk and horny self, asks me to ask the harpies who’s the most likely to put out. I ask to appease him and one of them just licks its lips. Ugh. We kill most of the harpies by cutting their wings off, smashing their heads and throwing them to the ground, and mauling them with my awesome talons. Gruit really wants to capture one of them to train it and possibly mate with it. I want to kill it because of its evil nature, the fact that it’s a danger to the party, the fact that it smells bad and is covered in termites and feces, and because I don’t want another Nothic incident. He is really convinced that she’s not a danger in her condition and that he can train her. Because he is my friend and the strongest out of all of us, I will let him keep her for now. However, if I feel that she becomes a threat to our party or our mission, I will kill her.

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"What do you mean you can't see the invisible man?!"
Faylen's cool adventure that revolves around her~

(From the point of view of Feylen)

We hear a scream and it’s late in the afternoon and we see a lump on the trail. It moves and screams. There is a lot of flapping. It is covered in strange creatures. They look like ripped open birds. Gruit tries to yell at them but he ended up whispering softly into their ears. He swings down with his magic sword and kills not one but two of those ugly birds. Several of those birds detaches from the boulder and each one goes to one of us. Gruit latched onto gruit and grapples him like John Cena grappled the Undertaker. Alexander latches onto his back and makes a slurppy sound. One of those stupid birds misses me. Again, they detached and one hits me. FUUUUCK. Gruit recklessly attacks the stinky bird and destroys him. He then walks over to Alex’s body and kills two. Gruit just basically kills all of them by himself. Bird tries to attack gruit but HE BITCH SLAPS HIM. Faylen drags the boulder’s body and when she got tired of dragging his body, Gruitt started to swing his body around. We all slept together except for Vanessa, who kept being a stick in the mud. Wah.
When we wake up, we see Gruitt cooking in the kitchen and says in a high voice, “Good morning, guys~ Kawaii desu-neeee~” We had a great meal. It was a nice thanksgiving. Alex questions how clean this is but I convinced him to eat it anyway because Gruitt made us food. Where the hell is Vanessa anyway….? Alex tries turn into a dog and smell out Vanessa, but all he smells is BACON! Gruitt is so drunk that he is still petting him. We find Vanessa and Gruit is so drunk, he keeps saying “BROOO!” She is hesitant to come with us. We have to kill the Nothic so that she can come with us? HOW IMPORTANT DOES SHE THINK SHE IS!?
We’ve deciding to go to the sleeping giant instead of finding the nothic and making that top priority. Vanessa tells Alex that he has a day to find the Nothic and kill him. If we don’t, she’s leaving forever. Anyway, through the darkness there is a thick film of dust on the door. It smells like uncleanliness and cheap liquor. It’s completely deserted except for some tables and chairs. Gruit and I noticed that one of the rugs towards the back end of the taphouse, it sounds slightly different. There’s a trapdoor and we see a sight that is incredibility familiar. It looks exactly like the treasure room from the red brand hideout… We ended up just covering the trapdoor. There was nothing there… Should we go to deal with the Orcs or the Banshee…? Ugh. We all end up splitting up to see if the Glasswear man has done anything to the town.
Sister whatever sees Alexander and tells him that, “I haven’t seen anything spooky or strange happening here. The family you brought here are doing much better! With some rest, they’ll be good and begin to work and live again.” Alex asks about me and my forsaken god crap. As if I could be redeemed. “In order to get back into any good gods graces, it’s a long path. They will not easily accept someone. However, Goddess Tamura is always willing to place some chance luck on anyone willing to take a chance on her…” These people are USELESS. The Bashuko and Bashuka are USELESS. They know NOTHING. I should feed them to the Nothic… Gruitt goes towards the Tribor Trail and it smells…. Nice but there is nothing around or anyone. It seems very normal. There is no evidence that Glasscane is around. The Nothic is missing too! Where is my baby!!!
Sildar is a useless old man too. He hasn’t been of any help at all. He told us about some swords, some mountains. I dunno. There are some orcs that are causing some problems. Ughhhhhh. I just want a new baby that doesn’t get lost or die! ALSO SILDAR WON’T CLEAN OUR HOME!! I hate this man!
Gruitt really hates Orcs. He used to live with them? And he had killed his dad. That’s crazy. Alex is just racist. He doesn’t like anyone that isn’t him. Or a tree. I dunno. Magic tree man. The sound of birds float through the air. Off through the distance we see a light with several figures. Uhhh I’m going to hide in the trees. I am not going to almost die! What we see is a spit roast and it is a human. There are six orcs are mumbling to themselves. They’re arguing about putting dirt on it….
SURPRISE!
Vanessa epically sneaks out of the bush and gets right behind the orc. Right as he starts complaining about the leg being rubbering, vanessa yells out “FOR FAYLEN!” and slashes his head off. Barrien targets the orc that looks up first and he hits with his chromatic orb. Barrien kills the orc and one shots him. He is burning and is engulf in flames. The boulder attacks. It’s my turn. I start whispering things into the Orcs mind, speaking about the morbid acts Torog will do to him upon his arrival to the Underworld. The Orc starts bleeding heavily through his ears. Gruitt beats a orc into a bloody pulp and starts crying, “MY FATHER NEVER LOVED MEEEE.” …how sad.  Alexander attacks with thorn whip and softly caresses the orcs face with his thorn BEFORE STABBING RIGHT INTO IT. Vanessa tries to assassinate another Orc, before he turns around, she sneaks around and says, “Remember Faylen.” And slits his throat. How sweet of Vanessa to remember me~ <3 Barrien freezes one of the orcs and we interrogate him.
Schlurg is their leader. The miners are being killed by Schlurg. They turned the mine into the their home. This Orc doesn’t know anything. He doesn’t have any useful info for us. He knows how to get to his cave but doesn’t know how to draw a map for us.

DID I MENTION THAT WE GOT A BOMB ASS HOUSE?!

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After the battle in Red Brand cave

(From the point of view of Alexander Birindiel)

We managed to beat the Redbrand ambush with the help of the Nothic. The Boulder clears the rocks blocking the entrance very easily and joins us. We combed the bodies for any valuable items or weapons. We found an enchanted sword, some jewels, standard weapons and armor, bejeweled earrings, a bejeweled eye-patch, three rings, a key, and a healing potion.

After we split the items, myself keeping the eye-patch and a ring and The Boulder keeping the earrings as…nipple clamps, we explored the rest of the cave/hideout. We found a wizard’s potion room that was old and dusty and where there was a rat scurrying about. Barrien detected some magic from the rat so we all tried to capture it. I ended up being the one to capture it and got it under control after it bit me once. There was no magic coming from the rat but it was linked to some magic. I surmised that it might be from the spell beast sense and that Glasstaff could be watching us right then. We decided to keep the rat as we combed through the rest of the hideout but it vaporized in my hand. Glasstaff must’ve been watching.

We find Glasstaff’s room where there is a letter from The Black Spider to him. It tells of the plan to kidnap Gundren and take the map from him. The Black Spider might be after the location of the Wave Echo Cave that Gundren possibly found.

We were going to leave back the way we came when I noticed a breeze coming through the wall. We find a secret passage to another room and the room has lots of money and jewels on the floor. We’re suspicious of it but after checking for traps, both physical and magical, we see that it’s safe and we split the money. The Nothic informs us that the Redbrands bundled the money in hopes to split it after they defeated us.

We continue on to the other side of the cavern after Gruitt promises the Nothic the body of Glasstaff so that it can come with us. We enter a room with a large cistern and The Boulder immediately jumps in it. He’s weighed down by all his equipment and can’t swim up. Gruitt goes in and saves him. Gruitt notices that there is a waterproof bag inside the cistern but it’s empty. He takes it anyway.

We go out one of the other exits into what appears to be Tresendar Manor. We decide to explore the rest of the cave before exploring the manor. We go to the other exit from the cistern room into a hallway. After taking a few steps into the hallway, Gruitt, Vanessa and The Boulder jump to the side. I don’t know why until it’s too late. The floor opens up into a pit and Barrien, Feylyn and I fall into it. I use my quick thinking to Thorn Whip one of the pillars in the room to save myself from falling all the way to the bottom.

We help Barrien and Feylyn out of the pit and continue on to the next room. It contained 3 coffins that we assume the skeletons from the fight were in. Vanessa tries to smash one of the coffins but it barely cracks part of it. We continue on to the other room were a mother and her 2 children are being held in prison. They must be the wife and children of Thel from the town! We free them and ask them if they heard any info while being held prisoner. They didn’t know anything but of the horrors the Redbrand would inflict upon them.

The Nothic, still with us, asks if he can have the mother and children, too. I say No. He then looks at Feylyn, who then looks at the boy then the girl. The Nothic then turns to the boy and disintegrates him with its rotting gaze! It then looks at the girl and she seems dazed afterwards. Feylyn takes the daughter after that and the mother, horrified and hysterical, begs for the child back. Feylyn refuses. Vanessa tells Feylyn to give her the child as she was taking them out of the cave. Feylyn still refuses saying that “It’s too late and the child doesn’t remember her mother anyway.” Vanessa still argues for Feylyn to give her the child and Feylyn refuses. Vanessa asks us to support her. I stand there because I know that confronting Feylyn would mean confronting the Nothic and I was afraid of the Nothic killing me. The Boulder saying the he was “disgusted by th[e whole display]” leaves to do who knows what. Vanessa then attacks Feylyn for the child. The Nothic then attacks Vanessa but misses. Vanessa takes the mother and leaves.

The four of us and the Nothic go up into the manor and look around. There is nothing there. We leave the manor. Feylyn goes to look for Vanessa and the Nothic goes a different direction saying, “I’ll be back.” I’m tired and I’m worried about what’s going to happen now. I shouldn’t have let the Nothic go after what it did to that little boy. Vanessa was right and I should have backed her up. We all should have. I’m so disappointed in myself for letting such an atrocity go unpunished. I need to go find Vanessa and apologize and we need to go deal with the Nothic before it does this to anyone else.

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Vadelin; Day 2, returning to the barn with a prisoner

Tying the red brand up, we wake him up and we begin the interrogation. The man wakes up and screams like a baby goblin. Gruit and Vanessa are playing good guard, bad guard. Gruit asks, “how many red brands are there?” He answers that there are very little, about a dozen men. I’m skeptical about it however. The Red brand describes the leader and says that he has a glass staff and wears a big cloak. He sounds a lot like the man who was supposed to come here and save the city and bring peace. The red brand weren’t around until glassstaff came around. Gruit addresses the voices from the cavern and the red brand says that there is a spooky monster and glass staff convinced it to fight for him. In the manor, there are bugbears, provisions. Vanessa is trying to be weird with the guy, the red brand is in conbary. So the boulder watches over the red brand and alex helps him. “you’re in a better spot than before.” Gruit tells the goblin. The goblin is so grateful and agrees to be my babyyyy. The black spider told the goblin to go to the hideout and thegoblin apparently knows the cradmaw castles. We renamed him. Droop seen the monster and he only hears him in head. We decide to short rest and get healed up since we were all beat up from the battle before.
Town masters hall: a noticed is posted, orcs near, those who are strong enough inquire within and it has a strange signature from a doctor. Another side question. We see sildar conversing with a FAT MAN. The first person to react is the fat man. The man is harben wester. “I hearyou are investigating on the towns unslightly individuals.” The town was good until the red brand showed up. You’re holding this notice, there have been orcs causing trouble upon tribor trail. I hoped someone would try to take care of them and I would be willing to offer a lot of money.” The tribor trail is on the path to the banshee. “a wizard came around here and asked about things. Old al well is also northeast of here and strange things are happening around here.” Despite his jolly demeanor, he seems rattled about the red brands and isn’t happy when he has to talk about him. Even with persuasion, he didn’t say he was in cahoots with the red brand. We return to the barn.
The barn: We asked Sildar about Aryano and Glass staff. Sildar can’t believe that he would do something like this. We think that the red brand started as a town enforcement and it got out of hand.
We head over to lay-neen graywind/Darren. I bought noble dress for droop and gruit’s five gallons of ale. Try-leen
We leave sildar to warn the city about anything that goes wrong. If we don’t come back, they should evacuate the city if we don’t show up. We are in the cave. A stalagmite falls down and hits barrien. He takes noticeably a lot of damage. We were ambushed by a swarm of red brand. Gruit threw the man down the hole and we hear gnawing… there is something down there…..
There is one red brand with great armor and weapons, there are two red brands carrying dual short swords. There is a skeleton with swords inside of him and jewels for eyes. A nathic is a creature from deep within the earth. We’re fucked.
BATTLE!
Gruit enters his rage and runs into a red brand who is dual wielding. He attacks him and recklessly attacks him, dealing a significant amount of damage. He backs off a little when he sees gruit attack and gets scared. He sees Faylen and tries to shoot at her but it doesn’t hit her. Droop says “YAY! MASTER ALIVE STILL!” Another man tries to shoot Vanessa but he fails. Everyone keeps not hitting and a arrow flies past gruit. He laughed loudly at the failure that is that man missing. Barrien sprayed his ray of frost and the guy sneezes and falls down. The skeleton tries to attack Vanessa but he weaves and dances away from the skeleton. He tries to attack and does a lot of damage. Gruit stands off and has a staring contest with the nathic. Gruit is the G.O.A.T. Vanessa tries to attack and is successful. She takes her short sword and does some damage. Alex cast thorn whip epically and the skeleton EXPLODED into schmitereens. The red brand attacks alex barely and takes a considerable amount of damage. Gruit got attacked by one of the guards and got some damage. The second guard misses barrien and barrien tries to attack with chromatic orb. Acid shoots out. Vanessa attacks one of the guards and you see the guard completely bloodied. Gruit got stared at by the huge monster and he just shrugs his shoulder off, making him seem unimportant. Alex hits that guy and KILLS HIM. He grabbed him with his thorn whip and grabs him. He slammed and got thrown into the crevice. Gruit comes over and saves me from being completely destroyed by all the enemies who appeared out of nowhere. He tries to attack Gruit with his long sword but it doesn’t hit him. Gruit gets attacked and he has an arrow in his arm. Someone else attacked Gruit and he hits him. Nothics are wizards who became evil. Barrien attacks the leader with magic missile and he slams his head against the wall. A red brand falls into the hole and he basically is going to have a hard time getting out! He’s gone…. Another red brand actually jumped over and made it across. He is going to make an attack on gruit now. Frilly dress flying through the air. The contract is sealed and the monster is on our side now. The nothic helped us out and crumbled him to death. He is now ash.

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In Vadelin; Day 1 continued/Day 2...

The Boulder arrives at the Alter to retrieve their leg. She’s been carrying her leg. Sister Gariel welcomes the boulder back to heal her leg and the process takes a bit of time. The boulder falls asleep during the process. The Boulder catches a glimpse of her and notice that she has a lot of scratches and bruises. The boulder asks in a strange accent, “how you get them scratches?” She’s very thankful that she asked and replies, “actually have you heard about the Red Bands. I’m part of a group called the Harpers and we fight for equality and acceptance. We want to get rid of them because they have been causing trouble and discriminating and unholy things!!! My superiors have talked about pursuing a banshee because she has a spell book but I couldn’t find her! I learned that the banshee likes flattering. I obtained something that the banshee would love.” She pulls a silver comb embedded with crystals and jewels. “If you or anyone you know would go and exchange info for this, I would reward you with anything!” The boulder wanted the person to draw a map to the location of the banshee on her stomach. “I CAN MAKE A TRAIL DANCE!” The boulder says as he starts dancing…
The sister heals her leg flawlessly. We all slept well. Several rooster wake us up and I just feel like killing them. The barn door swings open and Kelly wakes us up and makes us leave. “I was over at the end last night and I happened to see ol’ barthen over there. He said you needed help finding the wave echo cave. I know someone who can help you! His name is Raydath and lives in thunder tree and knows every inch of the sword coast.”
We found The Boulder and Barrien notices that there is something in his loin clothe… The Boulder denies everything and Gruitt, who is hungover and not taking anyone’s crap, grapples him. We all ponder whether to see what is in his loin clothe… and we discover that it’s a comb. We also notice that The Boulder has a map on their stomach. We just let it go though. We aren’t dealing with it we all decide.
We all decide to get into the forest that leads to the secret hideout. There’s a cave that seems to be very ominous. There’s a giant crevice but there is very dim light. Only some of us can see past the dim light. Large boulders obscure a lot of the cavern from the forest and a cold breeze fills the cavern. A faint smell of dead fill the air. Two arch bridges are present and I hear a faint whisper. I’m terrified. At least Kong is with me however. The Boulder squacks around. We end up going to a smaller room with a locked room there. Barrien wants to unlock the door. Gruitt hears some deep voices and Vanessa tries to open the door sneakily. We see bugbears and all the bugbears see us!
We begin to fight and Vanessa is holding the door but Gruitt attacks the second bugbear! Barrien saved us twice already. He slams the great axe into the bugbear and with one single attack, Gruitt has made the enemy tire! When Feylen tried to attack, the bugbear swallowed my sacred flames and became Smokey, the bugbear…. Alex attempts to attack as well and the bugbear says, “No!” Vanessa gets attacked and she is starting to look tired and bloody. A bugbear tries to attack Gruitt but as usual, he doesn’t get hurt at all… Vanessa sneaks around and attacks the bugbear. She SHANKS the 1st bugbear that wasn’t paying attention to anyone! Vanessa out of nowhere bolts out of the room. The Boulder wakes up and attacks from Gruitt’s shoulder. She peaks around the corner and shoots right in the heart. SHOT IN THE HEART and he falls into the bed! Barrien attacks one of the bugbears and it’s looking bloodied. Maybe we aren’t that bad? A door opens and four Red Brands appear. They were playing Go Fish and got interrupted when we all started fighting and shouting magic spells! Bugbear cleaves his axe into the skull and blood gets all over everyone. The bugbear gets a big ball full of holy energy. He doesn’t like that and crouches down in pain. Blood drips from his mouth onto the ground and he clutches at his heart. Finally things are going our way. Alex grabs the Red Brand members binds two of them with his spell. The Red Brand ruffians struggle to get out but are too weak against the vines. Feylen gets attacked by the last remaining bugbear and hits me with his morning star. That took quite a lot of damage. Vanessa will use her cunningness and tries to attack but thinks twice about it… she runs away! Barrien started talking about some history lessons and how theses ruffians were being unruly and rude. Barrien manages to make one of the ruffians fall asleep! Gruitt attacks the bugbear and he kills him and collapses at the bed on top of the other bugbear. They both died as they lived: spooning. Feylen tried to attack the unconscious goblin but failed horribly and missed despite the fact that they weren’t even moving… Vanessa tries to kill the last ruffian that is near us. She gets her twin daggers to his eyeballs and kills him.
Finally we’re done. We are going to leave as quick as we can.

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In Vadelin; Day 1

Vadelin, simple buildings built with stone. Stone walls covered with ivy surround the newer houses that show how much larger the city was before. There are hills around and there are kids and children and adults living casually. Nobody pay attention to us however and we continue unnoticed. Sildar is in better condition and has told us, “My friend, let us rest at a local inn.” He then gives us a map of the town. The town is relatively small and we can find things easily. Vanessa is eating bags and bags of processed cheese.
We all end up going to the inn together. The common room is filled with these drunk people who are curious about us. I guess we are an odd group. There aren’t enough rooms for all of us since sildar is with us. He should just sleep outside… The innkeeper tells us of the eldarmath orchannel. We could also try Alderleaf Farm.
We decided to go to the provision mark on the map first before we get room. They store ordinary things like backpacks and bedrolls. They’re things to make yourself at home and we don’t see anything that is armor or weapons. Behind the counter is the shopkeep, Elmar. We explain to Elmar what happened to us and why our stuff is gone. He doesn’t seem to care and takes away some cost. He ends up giving us 8 gold because Gruitt scared him. We end up talking to him about gundren and why we were in his cave. He tells us that he was coming back from neverwinter. Waveecho cave his brothers are camped outside of town and might be able to tell us. They’re off the tribor trail. Greywind is a girl and has a tongue; she would be happy that we got their stuff.
We head to the lionshield coster, where we meet this lady who Gruit tried to flirt with but failed horribliy with. We ask her about if we can get a discount for helping her find her stuff but she quickly got mad. What a crazy lady…. She ends up letting us buy from her and give us 30 gold. The boulder wants to buy a weapon for their leg. Linene Greywind advises the boulder to go to the priest and heal their leg. The boulder kind of just grunted and looked away. Gruit continues to flirt with Linene. I think we’re going to get kicked out…
I finally found vanessa and convince her to show her map. She seems suspicious about the map however… Linene reminds us that we’re a weird group. Vanessa is strange about the map and very secretive. We tell linene about it. We end up getting kicked out. We all remember that the sleeping giant is in the town and the red band is there. We all end up splitting up.
The farm is well kept and there are a lot of crops/vegetables. A middle aged halfing and another older halfing. Keline alderneene. Lucy the goat I try to barter but failed. A little child of the middle aged halfing takes me to this hideout of the red bands. The child is really happy and excited. I sense the fear and feel real fear in my heart. I’m going to head back before I get into more trouble and head on to sleep. I shall tell my friends about the info the child gave me.
Some elf is tending to his orchid, he is a half elf and has long silver hair. Alex and Rodrigo are searching for rumors and the history of the town. He was a fighter and lived in the sword coast. Member of the gauntlet. Lots of ghouls in the two day march outside. The red bands are a group of ruffians and extorted everyone int the town and pretty much everyone hates them and they don’t mess with this elf guy because they can kick their asses. They seem to be very powerful people and don’t get too involved with them. The lords alliance is a group of spoil aristocrats. He doesn’t think that they believe in peace and justice. He gave us lots of advice. If we try to take on the redband, keep a look out on glass-staff who is the leader of the red bands and he is causing all the troubles around here. Old al well is the place with the ghouls. There are some ruins around there that has a watch tower and it belonged to some old magical being. There could be some correlation between the undead that are popping up there. Best way to talk to red band, go to the tavern. That’s where they hang out.
Gruit tries to talk to a bar lady and tries to get info but she had nothing to offer. She goes over to hit on babushka. She gets hit with a mop and gruit really wants to get in love. WE DON’T DEAL WITH LOVE WE DEAL IN COPPER. Gruit tries to get info out of her but she doesn’t know anything except that the red band doesn’t bother with them. Drendar came and look at someone’s wife. They killed him and took his daughter and wife! GRUIT AND FAYLEN IS TAKING THEIR FAMILY! Vanessa is disappointed with gruit’s action and they end up leaving after he insults her.
Vanessa and boulder get into some shenanigans. Vanessa tried to trip boulder but he failed so bad he went blind because boulder poked him. He then gets mad and tries to attack him but he ends up hitting the babushka. Alex tries to apologize for everyone but the babushka didn’t care and gave him a beer. Gruit is confused about why his charm didn’t work…

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